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We thank Thee for Thy Abundance

We thank Thee for Thy Abundance
Genesis 1:29

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Day 19 of Raw Food

December 19, 2010
Weight: 150.8

Breakfast: Green Smoothie with Spinach, Orange, Lemon, Banana, Pineapple, Blueberries, and Strawberries, Chia Seeds and Udo's Oil.

Lunch: Veggies (Broccoli, Celery, Carrots, Cauliflower, Green Pepper) with Creamy Cashew Dill Dip made of Cashew, water, lime, green onion, apple cider vinegar, ume plum vinegar, and dill.

A Spoonful of Raw Honey. (Do I always have to say "raw"? Just know that EVERYTHING I eat is raw..)

Dinner: My bread with avocado, dijon mustard, tomato and cucumber.

Dessert: Whipped Cream made of Cashews, fresh squeezed OJ, agave, vanilla and pinch of sea salt with bananas and blueberries! YUMMY!

I feel SO good! I am doing So good! Amidst mega-stress right now! I'm so proud of myself! Greatful for tender mercies of the Lord.

Friday, December 17, 2010

Day 17 of Raw

December 17, 2010

Weight: 151.2 as of yesterday the 16th day. That is a weight loss of 8 lbs. 1/2 a pound a day!

Well, I have missed blogging and thought I could catch up...but no way.

My husband had his birthday on the 15th and among 20 other things I have been SWAMPED! But, despite all of the stress of these things PLUS Christmas, I have remained raw!
I have had to eat out a lot these past 3 days because of it and am so happy to say that I've been able to do it. How, you say?
Well, I WANT to be raw.
I KNOW that I am being supported by friends and even my family!
On his birthday my husband mentioned going to a favorite Thai restaurant and I actually said, "Sure, It's your birthday, I'll just eat a soup, Tom Ka, and it's okay to eat cooked I guess on your birthday." (Can you believe I ACTUALLY decided to eat cooked?) To which my husband replied, "No, I don't want you to go off raw."
(How sweet was that?) And just like that, just that simple reply of love and support from him woke me up and strengthed me and made me feel so good keeping me on the "straight and narrow". I love him so much and am so grateful for him.

I can't stress enough the importance of support. Support from spouse, family, or friends. ANY kind of support. It is vital to maintaining this lifestyle.
The other reason I was able to stay raw was having some CHOICES of places to eat or simply BEING PREPARED.

I went to Jamba Juice several times and got wheatgrass, fresh squeezed Orange juice or Carrot juice or both combined together.
I stopped at the health food store and had with me some Gone Nuts or Kale Chips or a simple apple or banana. Keeping these things in the car at all times is super smart!
Most grocery stores have prewashed and even pre-cut packaged produce that you can just run in and pick up for a meal. REAL fast food!
Even in a pinch you can just get a plain salad just about ANYWHERE!


On my husbands birthday we went to a fancy restaurant for lunch and I told the waitress about my "special diet" and asked if she would ask the chef to make me a large entree with all of the fresh vegetables of the day along with an E.v.O.O and balsamic vinagrette.
I'm learning that restaurants, nicer ones especially, are more than happy to make you something special. I've heard that chefs actually LIKE the challenge.
For dinner we went to Carrabbas (an Italian chain.) The result was the same! They made me a delicious and beautiful salad!
I've read somewhere about making a laminate card that says something like this, "Dear Chef, I have a special diet and only eat fresh, raw fruits, veggies, nuts, and seeds. Could you please make me an entree with all of your fresh foods of the day. Nothing cooked. Thank you so much!" Then, you can just pass it to the waitress when ordering in front of others without having to say a word and not even bring it up, hence, not making any big deal out of it. I LOVE that idea! We go out to eat to have fun with the PEOPLE we are with. Why have I always made it about the food?? I think I get it now. :)

Another thing that has kept me strong is REMEMBERING the past. It goes something like this: "Don't you remember how you felt after eating that?" or "Yes, that bread looks fantastic, BUT, (squeezing fat around my belly) it makes this on my body and you know what? I don't want it on my body anymore. I'm done with it. I loved you Bread once, but, you are just not good for me anymore. No more. I've got something new, something better."

The definition of sacrifice is the giving up of something good for something better.

Giving up food that tasted good but made me feel bad or sick and depressed me and was leading me to heart disease, obesity, and cancer, for food that tastes good and is better for me, that makes me feel good, leading me to health, a beautiful body, and longevity is my definition of "sacrifice" on this lifestyle.

Today's food:

Breakfast: Water. Green Smoothie of dark kale, orange, lemon, strawberries and blueberries, chia seeds, and Udo's Oil

Lunch: Green Juice with Dark Kale, Cilantro, Celery, Cucumber, Apple, Carrot, Lime, Beet with Greens.

Monday, December 13, 2010

Day 13 of Raw

December 13, 2010

Breakfast: 4 c. Green Smoothie with Spinach, lemon, orange, mango, strawberries, blueberries, chia seeds and Udo's Oil.

Dinner: Big Greek Salad like yesterday except with avocado and walnuts.

Very stressful day today: Taught my exercise class, meeting with my son and his school counselor, dentist (had a crown removed and got drilled and then found out that I need to have a root canal tomorrow....), took kids to their dentist, got dinner, and am now lying in bed.

I got veggie Chinese food for the family and was tempted. I LOVE Chinese food! Being stressed and tired is usually a trigger to pig out for me. But, I am flexing my willpower muscles and getting stronger every day by remembering how crappy I feel when I eat the "olden ways".

Good job Me!

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Day 12 of Raw

December 12, 2010

Breakfast: 8 oz. of a Green Smoothie made of spinach, orange, lemon, banana, mango, pineapple, strawberries, blueberries, Udo's Oil, & chia seeds.

1 t. Spirulina in water.

Lunch: Veggie Sandwich

Veggie Juice: 40 oz. carrot, cucumber, celery, cilantro, lime, apple.

Dinner: Big Greek Salad with romain, red onion, tomato, carrot, cucumber, kalamata olives, and help seeds with a e.v.o.o dressing with agave, salt, pepper, oregano, basil, lemon juice, and red wine vinegar.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Day 11 of Raw

December 11, 2010

Weight: 153.4

Breakfast: Green Smoothie with orange, lemon, bananas, spinach, & blueberries.

Lunch: Veggie Open-faced Sandwiches

Treat: Cinnamon Pecan Cacao Truffles from "The Art of Raw Living" by Doreen Virtue and Jenny Ross and Oatmeal Cacao Nib Cookies from Raw Melissa's (Melissa Chappell) new recipe book called "Faves"!

Dinner: Pomegranate and Orange

Friday, December 10, 2010

Day 10 of Raw

December 10, 2010

Breakfast: 24 oz. Citrus Bliss

Lunch: Green Smoothie with Spinach, Banana, Mango, Orange, Lemon, Udo's Oil Blend, and Chia Seeds.

1 T. Spirulina mixed with water

Snack: Gone Nuts Cilantro Lime Mojo

Dinner: Big Salad and Teriyaki "Gone Nuts"

Tonight was my husbands company Christmas party! When we arrived, I asked the server to ask the Chef if he would make me a big salad as my main course because I had a special diet and didn't eat cheese, meat, dairy, or cooked foods.

They had a little/teenee salad already on the tables along with desserts and rolls. The salad was covered in feta cheese and candied nuts and sugared cranberries. The main dish was chicken rolled up with some spinach cheesey filling, rice and I think there were like 2 baby carrots and asaparagus. Portion size was small.

You should've seen everyones eyes when my salad plate arrived! Someone said "Wow! Did the Chef make that just for you? That's wonderful!" It was a HUGE salad with lettuces, spinach, grape tomatoes, cucumber, carrots, & asaparagus. Served with a gluten free raspberry vinegrette! It was awesome! I was so pleased and was also very glad to be a good example and still be able to eat a delicious meal at a catered work party without bringing my own food! It was awesome!

Day 9 of Raw

December 9, 2010
Breakfast: Green Smoothie with orange, lemon, spinach, mango, banana

Lunch: Veggie Sandwich

Dinner: 2 huge salads from Jason's Deli. They have an all you can eat salad bar with some organic produce and sprouts for 8 bucks!

Desert: A Grape fruit

Still feeling like I'm detoxing. Sore throat, cough, and tired.

Christmas shopping with a friend and out to eat I am so grateful that there are places a raw foodist can go to eat!

Raw Food Support Group was awesome! 11 people came! How to keep everyone from staying until 11 p.m.............

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Day 8 of Raw

December 8, 2010
Weight: 154 (no change?)

Breakfast: Citrus Bliss

Lunch: 42 oz. Celery, carrot, cucumber, cilantro, lime, apple juice.

Snack: My oh so favorite "Blessings Alive and Radiant Foods Cheeziyes" Kale Chips.

Dinner: "Living Intentions Gone Nuts White Chocolate" cashew and almonds and also their "Thai Curry" SO, so, SOOOOOOOOO amazingly delicious! I sort of (totally) pigged out on them......I am grateful for yummy snacks like those to "fill in the gaps" to overcoming cooked foods.

Snack: Half of a mandarin orange.

I went to my Relief Society Christmas Party tonight. They had a dinner and wonderful entertainment. It was kind of nice to focus on the people and not the food. We always surround ourselves with food and I realize now how it distanced me from deeper connections with people because my focus was ALWAYS on the food. Seriously.

I also am noticing that eating was a way to distance myself from others.
"Don't bug me...I'm eating"! It's a sort of "wall" to be eating instead of talking and interacting with others. I don't know...I'm just observing myself and my feelings.

When you eat raw, you are also raw emotionally. I didn't like being the only one not eating. I felt out of place. I was going to bring something to eat, but I wasn't hungry and I don't like to eat that late (6:45 p.m.) I also didn't want to eat something "different" in front of everyone. It feels wrong to be like "I don't eat YOUR food". That doesn't seem right either, so I went with just not eating.

It's a tough thing. Honestly I would rather fit in with everyone....I LOVE all those women and they are my FRIENDS! I don't want to make them feel bad. But I also want to heal and live a long healthy life. I have to do what's right for me.

It's just tough. I don't want to make other feel "bad" or "wrong", and sadly, It really does come across that way doesn't it? It's like a Mormon going to another church and not participating in what they are doing, or a non drinker going into a bar and not drinking. You know what I mean?

It's just one of the tough things about being different.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Day 7 of Raw

December 7, 2010
Breakfast: grapefruit

Later Breakfast: 40 oz. celery, carrot, apple, cucumber, cilantro, lime juice.

Lunch: Smoothie: Spinach, orange, lemon, banana, mango, pineapple.
Bowl of strawberries and blueberries

Dinner: Curry Cabbage Salad and Veggie Sandwich.

Snack: A few spoonfuls of Honey! Mmmmmmm!

Today was HARD! I had a mini anxiety thing happen that hasn't happened in over a year! I was at a friends annual church "Christmas Dessert" and I started to feel just a little strange, and then my heart started to race. It all lasted for about a minute or two. I went right through it without a hitch and figured that it must be because of stress and being so busy right now with my husbands birthday coming up and Christmas and my CD getting printed. I also think that it could be a detox thing. I have read that as you detox you retrack old illnesses. I don't know if that's true, but it sure would be nice to make sense of what happened today.

The temptation to quit was SUPER HARD today! When I feel down or depressed about something that has happened I want to eat! I want to eat comfort foods I am used to comforting myself with. My drug...
But, I remained strong. Knowing that I would have to post about it, and talk about it on Thursday night.
I just have faith. Faith that everything is going to work out and that the Lord will and is blessing me. I just have to endure to the end. I am strong and I will do it.
This is just day 7 and they say that it takes 21 days to break a habit.
Well, let's hope so!!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Day 6 of Raw

December 6, 2010
Hard day! I woke up feeling yucky. But had to get myself up and going to get my children off to school. We went to the funeral of my husbands uncle.
I felt kind of sick and grumpy. I can tell that I am missing my "drugs"....I start rationalizing in my head and the voices/demons keep telling me to quit and go out and get something to eat! It's really, really tough! But, what has made me resist? Knowing that I have a meeting on thursday!! I really wanted to "jump off the wagon" today. But, then I thought about how I ALWAYS feel when I've quit in the past. I tried to remember how bad I felt about myself for quitting and how I beat myself up and then fall into the pit of despair and depression.. and it worked!
I'm so proud of myself! I chose raw even through a tough day!

Breakfast: Mango Pudding: Blended spinach and mango.

snack: Rosemary Garlic Almonds and Pistachios

Lunch: Raw Pizza and Pumpkin Pie (at Gingers Cafe)

Dinner: Curry Salad: Green Cabbage, Green and Red Pepper, Red Onion, Raisins, Coconut meat, with a Cashew Curry Cream sauce.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Day 5 of Raw

December 5, 2010
FAST SUNDAY!

Breakfast: water....

Dinner:Broke my fast with a veggie sandwich! It was hard to fast tonight. I defintely am feeling tempted today....It's hard having a "cooked" family when you're raw.....but I know I can do it. I've done it before.

Snack: Pomelo and grapefruit.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Day 4 of Raw

December 4, 2010
Breakfast: 2 Bananas

Lunch: Sandwich made with a raw bread that I made using UBraw Ming's recipe, avocado, sprouts, lettuce, tomato, cucumber, cashew mayo, and mustard.
And, a cinnamon pecan cacao truffle!

Snacks: Baby Carrots

Dinner: Spinach, Cranberry, Mandarin Orange, Walnut, Red Onion salad with an orange juice, balsamic, honey, e.v.o.o, salt and pepper dressing.

Busy day!

I went to pick up my first order from Bountiful Baskets at 8 a.m., then I went to pick up a CD, and I did some grocery shopping at The Good Earth, then home to practice with my family a Christmas book we are reading for our ward Christmas party, then went to the baptism of my foster sisters daughter, then off to the rehearsal, and then the party!

I didn't have a lot of time to eat, but felt just fine!

I am feeling wonderful, energetic and vibrant and light and very, very, happy!

I LOVE raw food and how eating it makes me feel!

Friday, December 3, 2010

Day 3 of Raw

December 3, 2010
Weight: 154.4

Breakfast: 6 oz. wheatgrass
34 oz. kale, celery, cilantro, cucumber, broccoli, carrot, apple, lime juice.

Lunch:
3 c. Green Smoothie with Spinach, orange, lemon, pineapple, banana, blueberry, strawberry and Udo's Oil 3.6.9 blend.

Snack: Living Intentions Cilantro Lime Mojo Pistachios & Pepitas. Yummy, Yum, YUM!!!

Feel like I'm detoxing today. Woke up with a sore throat, headache and feverish. But I still taught my exercise class and went grocery shopping..

Dinner: 30 oz. Citrus Bliss: Grapefruit, Orange, Lemon, Lime juice.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

Day 2 of Raw!

December 2, 1010
Weight: Who cares! ( I forgot to weigh myself :p )

Breakfast: 30 oz. kale, carrot, celery, broccoli, apple, cilantro, lime juice.

Lunch: Raw "refried beans" (basically an almond pate with salsa ingredients.) on romaine leaves with salsa and avocado.
Some dates, apple slices and dehydrated apple slices.

Dinner: 30 oz. of kale, carrot, celery, broccoli, apple, cilantro, lime juice.


I went into action yesterday by first, blogging and then setting up a Raw Food Support Group! Yay! We are meeting TONIGHT at my house! How cool is that?
(I had formed a facebook page for raw fooders and just created an event!)

I am excited! Truly! For some reason getting "out of my head", including you and a support group, gives me so much strength! I won't make excuses if I know that I need to be accountable to others. No man is an island, and we just CANNOT make it through this life on our own. I thought I could do it on my own, but I can't. I tried and tried and tried and always let myself down. You know what? It's okay to need you. It's okay to need help. It's okay to need friends and a support group. I'm okay with it now. It's quite a weight lifted from off my head and shoulders (hopefully off my butt too! LOL!) I need others! And it's okay!

That is all.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

On and Off and On and Off

December 1, 2010


I'm back! I have learned so much about myself this past year. I have struggled a LOT with staying raw. On and off, On and off has been the perpetual cycle. Today, I am choosing to be ON!

Why I struggle to stay raw:
1. Eating for emotional reasons. The foods that bring me comfort...bread, chips, popcorn etc.

2. Cooking of my vegan husband and 4 children.

3. Socially. It's just easier (and funner) to go out to eat and eat what everyone else is eating and all of millions of restaurants that offer every kind of food imaginable!

4. It's yummy! It's what I've eaten my whole life (except for all together maybe a year of 100% raw and on and off for 2) It's what I'm used to!

5. It's fast and easily accessible and once in the clutches of "cookedome", which makes me lazy and frustrated and depressed and mad at myself. It's just a perpetual spiral down, down, down and it really hard to get back up. It's addictive and instant!

Okay, so? Excuses, excuses!

What keeps me from loving myself enough to do what is right? WHAT IS IT?!

So, I'm here to figure it out!

Well, what was different about me when I was 100% raw?

Why was I so strong? Strong enough that even being on an all you can eat 5 star cruise I remained 100% raw?? Where did that girl go??

Well, I know she's in there somewhere and I am going to find her!

Let's see,

1. I had just been through an extremely difficult "mystery" illness, scared half to death that I was going to die. Had gone to so many doctors and treatments and I was just filled with fear! THAT was my #1 motivation. To LIVE!

2. I was CONSTANTLY reading a book on raw food.

3. I was writting in my journal, or blogging here when I did a juice feast.

4. I was actively going to support groups or having one in my house. Raw Friends.

5. I was learning how to make so many delicious and fascinating recipes that I wasn't missing anything else.

6. I divorced myself from cooked foods. I could seriously look at all of the cooked stuff and be like, "I loved you once, but I don't want you anymore. I have a new love." I was SO committed, and it was EASY! (I want that back!)



So, Here are my goals to get on and stay on raw!

1. Blog here.

2. Create a support group, I don't know, weekly or biweekly in my home, or here.

3. READ a book or something online everyday about raw food.

4. Focus on completely healing ( I am still not healed from L.S.)

5. Feast on help from you!

6. Keep all of my favorite raw ingredients readily available in my home. (Avocados, pistachios, kale, raw bread on hand)

7. Spend at least 1 day a week preparing more complicated meals (dehydrated stuff like bread, crackers, chips, the stuff I crave cooked.) But keeping it pretty simple, not overwhelming, learning a new recipe each week.

8. Make a juice and smoothie everyday.

9. Keep 2-3 raw salad dressings in the fridge.

10. Always have a big salad prepared in the fridge.

11. Keep soaked nuts in the fridge ready to whip anything up.

So my friends, Will you help me? I've got to find that "Raw Girl" in me again.

I will do it this time! I know if I am accountable to you and not just myself, for now, until I can find "her", I will be able to do it.

Today:
Weight: 159.4 (CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!?)I was 152 the day before Thanksgiving......

Meals:
Breakfast: 32 oz. kale, carrot, celery, apple, cilantro, lime, broccoli juice.

1 T. Spirulina mixed with 1/4 c. water. (yucky!)

Lunch: 3 c. greeen smoothie: Spinach, banana, pineapple, orange, lemon, blueberries, and strawberries.

Snack: Soaked in sea salt water and dehydrated pumpkin seeds.
1 Pecan Cocao Truffle.
(Gave me a headache...)

Juice: 20 oz. (Citrus Bliss) grapefruit, orange, lemon, lime juice.

Dinner: Raw stuffing (Buckwheat, pumpkin seeds, walnuts, onion, carrot, celery, parsley, green pepper) Cranberry Sauce (Cranberries, dates, pineapple, apple)

I made it through Day 1 with your help! Thank you!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Getting Back With the Program

June 15, 2010



What happened??

After I ended my feast, I began with great intentions to eat my all raw diet again. But somehow, the eating disorder of chewing and spitting took over for a while, and I permitted myself to go along with it, which helped me to get over it.
I DID get over it by now allowing myself to just eat. So, I began just eating the meals I was making for my family. Which also included the sugary treats (which surprised me that I would go there.) What I noticed was that I felt tired after eating and I have gotten my weight back up to 148.6. The most upsetting thing has been how my insides feel. Not good. Although, I am happy to say that I have learned a lot about myself through this. Never say never!
I have been reading about the emotional reasons for binge eating and the other eating disorders and am just giving myself permission to feel whatever it is I need to feel.
I realized that I was feeling like "If I don't eat EVERYTHING I am not going to have anymore, there won't be any left for me and I might never get to eat it again." My mother changed our diet to a Macrobiotic one after my father had a heart attack. I was 9 years old. I think that I was traumatized by this and developed this feeling. That the foods I always ate and loved where now "bad" and whenever I had the opportunity to eat them I pigged out, because who knows how long it would be, if ever, I got to eat them again. So, I think that juice feasting and water fasting triggered in me that same feeling. I am still emotionally 9 I guess. So, by letting myself eat whatever and giving myself the okay, and telling myself that there will always be enough food of ANYKIND for me. There will always be enough. I will not be deprived. I will not be without. I am NOT bad for eating "bad" food.
As a result I am discovering in a different way how the different food choices make me feel. The SAD makes me feel yucky, tired, and puts weight on. Overeating makes my stomach hurt and gives me heartburn and makes me feel VERY uncomfortable in my body.
Chewing and spitting was just stupid. It's a waste of money and time and ridiculous and no longer appeals to me. Thankfully.
Bulimia died a long time ago and gratefully so.
So today. I am choosing to eat raw because I like how it makes me feel. I like to feel good. I know it is healthy and helps to heal me. I have a lot of raw foods that I love to eat and there is plenty of it for me. I am not "going without" but I am "giving myself more".




Tuesday, May 11, 2010

LAST DAY of Blogging - Breaking the Feast - Day 70!

May 11, 2010

Weight: 133.0

Today's Meals:
1+ oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 34 oz. celery, carrot, apple, beet, dandelion,

Day 69 - Breaking the Feast - Day 10

May 10, 2010

Weight: 133.0

Today's Meals:

1 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 36 oz. carrot, celery, pear, cilantro, lime, cucumber, dandelion, kale.

Lunch: 26 oz. grapefruit, orange, lemon, lime.

Dinner: salad with cashew, nama shoyu, agave, ginger, cayenne, orange juice, tomato dressing.

Today's Symptom's: EXTREMEMLY painful labia. Stopped using the Perrins Blend and just using the Perrins Creme Complete. I read that a woman who had LS and was using the creams found that the Perrins Blend caused too much burning and just used the PCC and it worked. The skin looks like the LS is "lifting" off. So, that's a good thing right? I hope so!! Still no period? I week late???
I felt SO much stronger at aerobics class today! So grateful ;)

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Day 68 - Breaking the Feast Day 9

Mother's Day 2010

Happy Mother's Day to all of you Mothers! The greatest and most important job in the world!

ALMA 56:47-48 "they had been taught by their MOTHERS that if they did not doubt, God would deliver them.They rehearsed unto me the words of their MOTHERS, saying: We do not doubt our MOTHERS knew it."ALMA 57:21 "they did obey & observe to perform every word of command with exactness & even according to their faith it was done unto ...them & I did remember the words which they said unto me that their MOTHERS had taught them."

I hope my children will be like the Stippling Sons and remember the words of their Mother and doubt not, and have faith in God and know that I knew it too.
♥ HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!!♥


Weight:131.2

Today's Menu: Juice, Juice, Salad and PIZZA! Then fruit salad with cashew cream.

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 38 oz. cucumber, celery, carrot, beet w/greens, apple, mint.

Lunch: 30 oz. Grapefruit, orange, lemon, lime

Spirulina, Maca, Acai, Multi vit and min and probiotic.

Dinner: Basil Pesto Salad with veggie sandwich. Lemon bar, Fruit salad with cashew cream.

In the Deydrator: Pizza crust and bread. This time with golden glax seeds for lighter color and italian seasoning.

Today's Symptom's: Burning labia. Didn't put on the creams last night. Oweeee!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

One Week Later...

May 8, 2010

Weight: 131.2

Today's Plan: Juice, Smoothie, Vegan (some Raw) Organic Restaurant tonight!

Breakfast: 34 oz. celery, carrot, apple, cilantro, lime, chard, beet, cucumber.

The Sun is Shining, Blue-Green Algae, probiotic, multi vit. min.

Lunch: 26 oz. Smoothie with blueberries, bananas, spinach, strawberries, chia seeds, lemon, and orange.

Dinner: A Delicioius Pad thai Salad: Cashew Pad Thai
mixed salad greens, tossed into fresh Thai basil-lime-ginger-deglet date-nama shoyu and olive oil emulsification topped with thin sliced seasonal vegetables and cashews
from Sage's Cafe: http://www.sagescafe.com/menu/raw

With a coconout, pinapple, date "ball" for dessert.

Today's Symptom's: Burning, hell-fire labia, and still no period...wish it was because I was pregnant!

Friday, May 7, 2010

Day 66 - Breaking the Feast - Day 7

May 7, 2010

Weight:
131.2

Today's Menu Plan: Juice, Smoothie, Meal

Breakfast: First I had some watermelon. 34 oz. celery, carrot, apple, beet w/greens, cabbage, broccoli, kale, parsley, garlic.

The Sun is Shining, Blue-Green Algae, probiotic, multi vit and min.

Dinner: Salad w/ romaine, cucumber, tomato, red onion, red cabbage, kalamata olives, sunflower sprouts, balsamic and apple cider vinegar, E.V.O.O., raw honey, salt, pepper, oregano, basil, thyme.


Today's Symptom's: Tummy didn't feel good throughout the night. Woke up feeling swollen...too much salt! (I learned last night that even sea salts are not that good for you. I will work on that.) Period is 4 days late??

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Day 65 - Breaking the Feast - Day 6

May 6, 2010

Greatful for a NEW DAY = Opportunity for better choices!

I've learned that if you fail to plan you plan to fail..so today I will plan my menu.

Juice for breakfast. Smoothie for lunch. Conservative choices at potluck tonight. Yes, there is ANOTHER one!

Weight:133.8

Today's Menu:

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 34 oz. carrot, apple, celery, beet, cilantro, ginger, lime, kale, dandelion.

Lunch: 24 oz. smoothie with water, orange, lemon, banana, strawberry, blueberry, peach, and spinach.

Dinner: Potluck...oriental cilantro cabbage salad, walnut field greens sweet salad, coconut asian field green salad, veggie sandwich (what I brought), kale avocado salad, macadamia nut cucumber hoerderve, frozen banana "soft serve".

Once again. TOO much food. Too late at night. Too much salt. Too much sweet.
I met FASCINATING people at the potluck tonight! Wish I could take them all home with me and talk for weeks!

Today's Symptom's: Labia swollen and burning, feel yucky from yesterday, sore arms from working out with weights again, Oh, and let's just say that I am "regular" again ;) I'll spare you now....

I'm stressing out a bit! I feel like I'm blowing my fast. Am I? Have I?
Did I not go long enough? That's what Agi (Agi's Raw Foods) told me yesterday.
Was I supposed to lose my mucoid plaque? Did I? Didn't I? Should I have water fasted longer? I'm craving all of this junk food I didn't crave before the feast?? WTHeck?? Help! What do I do now?

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Day 64 - Breaking the Feast - Day 5

Cinco de Mayo, 2010

Weight: 131.6

Today's Menu:

Breakfast: 30 oz. grapefruit, orange, lemon, lime.

3 oz. wheatgrass

Mid-morning:
watermelon.

Lunch: avocado, cucumber, romaine, tomato, alfalfa and sunflower sprouts, organic mustard, salt, pepper and oregano sandwich raw bread. Baby carrots.

Slice of Blueberry Mango Pie! Yummy!

Recipe:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8wQjfVQZWA

Dinner: Salad with romain, celery, raw organic Kalamata olives, tomato, Italian parsley, hemp seeds and a tahini, dill, lemon, garlic, basil, salt dressing.

Big Regret: Ate a bowl of vegan Taco Soup with tortilla chips in it that I made for my family that was cooked! As soon as I finished I got a strong headache and stomach ache like there was a brick sitting in there.
What was I thinking????
Me + cooked food = heavy, yucky, icky, headachy, stupid!!!
A reminder that I am HUMAN and that it's okay. We Humans need to be CONSTANTLY reminded to make good choices.
Hopefully I am smart enough to learn from mistakes right? I just RE minded myself what cooked food feels like. Tastes awesome but feels not so awesome......

In The Dehydrator: Bar-b-que chips!

Today's Symptom's: Labia is burning! I hope it's "doing the job"!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Day 63 - Breaking The Feast- Day 4

May 4, 2010

Weight: 129.8

Today's Menu:

Breakfast: Watermelon.

2 oz. wheatgrass

Lunch: 32 oz. carrot, apple, celery, cilantro, lime, ginger, dandelion, and beet w/greens.

1 piece of raw bread with pesto sauce ( while I made zucchini pesto pasta for a pot luck tonight! MMmmm raw food!!)

Dinner: 30 oz. grapefruit, orange, lemon, lime.

Pot Luck: strawberries with cream, strawberry balsamic salad, flax cracker, cinnamon roll, zucchini pesto pasta, parsely salad.

Ate a tad bit too much at the pot luck last night. Don't like a heavy feeling in my tummy anymore. Juices have changed that in me. Too many nuts and sweets also..not a good thing.

Today's Symptom's: Sore from aerobics! Feel great! Had a BM!! Yay!! First fibrous food went out with a hitch! Plumbing still works! ;)

Between me and the Lord..."I promise."

Monday, May 3, 2010

Day 62 - Breaking The Feast - Big Time!

May 3, 2010

Weight: 129.8

Today's Menu:

Breakfast: 28 oz. celery, carrot, apple, mint, chard, ginger.

The Sun is Shining, Blue-Green Algae, probiotics, multi vit & min, echinacea-goldenseal root.

Lunch: Uh-oh......I just had a veggie sandwich on my raw bread.
2 slices!! With avocado, tomato, cucumber, sunflower sprouts, alfalfa sprouts, romaine lettuce, oraganic yellow mustard, Himalayan salt and pepper!!!! The bread turned out FANTASTICO! I also took 2 digestive enzymes. I hope I will be okay?!! Pray that I can digest this and have a BM! (Never thought I would EVER ask for that!) Come on tummy! You can DO it!!

Small amazing, incredibly delicious cinnamon roll my friend brought me. (I REALLY don't want to do too many nuts...)

Cinnamon Rolls Recipe:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xojz1-MOFJU


Dinner: Salad with romaine, carrot, cauliflower, tomato, avocado, hemp seeds, alfalfa sprouts, kalamata olives, red cabbage, red onion. Tahini, lemon, garlic, Him. salt, dill, fresh basil, pepper. Incredible!

Today I went to aerobics and worked out again after 10 weeks! It was fun and I was made aware of my "out of shapeness!" My muscles have DEFINITELY atrophied! But, after 18 years of consistent exercise I am sure that I will be back in shape in no time!

I feel great!

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Day 61 - Breaking The Feast - Day 2

May 2, 2010

Weight: 129.8

Today's Menu: ;)

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast/Lunch: 38 oz. celery, carrot, apple, zucchini, cabbage, red leaf lettuce, chard, mint, ginger.

1 avocado! SOOOOOOO good with paprika and Himalayan salt! De-LISH!

I came home from church and made a raw bread recipe. I can't wait till it's done!
Here is the video I got the recipe from:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jA8CNDVJ0rU

Dinner: Some delicious watermelon!

I feel wonderful! I woke up with chest tightness and head pressure but filled with JOY and GRATITUDE! I'm religiously putting on the Perrins blend cremes every night.
I know they will eventually go away and that I am healing. It's just going to take more time. Time I am willing to take! :)

Tomorrow I am going to go back to my aerobics class and get back into shape so that I can start teaching again.

I am going to sing at an old folks home tomorrow in our ward boundaries.

I have reached out to old friends and have made fun plans.

I have planned a family Spring party at our house.

I am singing with my daughter at church for Mother's Day.

I am going to a raw food pot luck on Tuesday and to my ward recipe exchange pot luck on Thursday.

I plan on going into the studio to lay the piano track for my 6th song and record the Spanish on the 5th song.

I have entered back into living life to it's fullest. Enjoying each and every day.
Choosing JOY and letting go of FEAR and TRUSTING in the Lord that He answers the prayers of the faithful.

I know that I can still choose to be happy no matter what happens the way that Viktor Frankle did in his book MANS SEARCH FOR MEANING.

Viktor Frankle was in a concentration camp, with NOTHING, not his degrees, his successes or accomplishments. Not a hair on his body or even a name just a number. Surrounded by filth, death, the dying, and diseased, not knowing where his family was or if they were even alive, alone amongst strangers, not knowing if he would live or die, without a SINGLE comfort, his freedom and dignity taken away, starving, beaten and insulted every day, frozen to the bone, working beyond strength, and yet........he CHOSE to be happy. Happiness IS beyond a shadow of a doubt a CHOICE!

I have faith which means that I don't know what the future holds, but I know that my Savior knows and that He loves me and knows what's best for me and that no matter what, as long as I am keeping the commandments and pressing forward and enduring to the end I will be blessed. The JOY that awaits in the next life is incomprehensible to us right now. I know that we must be tried. I know that like a muscle it needs the strain to be made strong. I AM STRONGER BECAUSE OF ALL OF THIS! I am being prepared for something. I don't know what....but God does.

I may never be healed........but I choose LIFE. I choose to LIVE it fully the best that I can. And if I keel over and die....then I will go to meet my Maker and know that I did the best I could and tried to live the best I could and kept the commandments the best I could. I submit my will to His and if His will is that I die, then it's what is supposed to be! Right?!

I HOPE that I will be blessed for taking the best care of my body as possible. I HOPE that I my prayers will be answered! I HOPE that all of my desires, dreams and wishes will come true. And I really do BELIEVE that they will somehow, someway, someday!

"Come what may....I choose to LOVE it!"

I choose JOY!

Friday, April 30, 2010

Day 60 - BREAK THE FEAST DAY!

May 1, 2010

Weight:132.2?

Today's Meals:

Water with Apple Cider Vinegar

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 30 oz. carrot, apple, celery, ginger, chard.

1 strawberry!

Lunch: 1 mango!

Dinner: 30 oz. grapefruit, orange, lemon, lime.

2+ oz. wheatgrass

1 pear.

Today's Symptom's: the phone woke me up at 4 a.m. and I had a very acidy stomach (from chewing food last night...), BM (from the Senna Tea), But overall I feel GREAT!


I've had a terrible couple of days. The tooth extraction and the misery from that, combined with going to the gyno and worrying about that have just been the perfect storm for me.
I started chewing and spitting out more food again as a comfort and distraction.
I gave myself permission because even while I tried to distract and find comfort by going to Women's Conference, church, reading my scriptures and continual prayers, going to the movies and shopping with friends just were not enough to quell the urges for comfort and need for relief!
I also have been feeling that my body has been telling me that it's time to break the fast. My breath is fresh. My tongue clean. Headaches gone. And the energy has been super high. The ONLY thing is the Lichen, which has just put me in a state of sadness and frustration and doubt and worry and anger! I of course rationally know that I need to be patient but it's just been SOOOOOO Looooong and with the agony of the tooth extraction in combination with everything else it just backed me into a corner where I've just felt NO ESCAPE!! I just can't put into words...

I've been using the Perrin's Blend cremes for 2 days now and the women who testified that it cleared up their Lichen said it took 2 months.

So, although I am NOT doing a complete juice feast for 70 days, as the woman with psoriasis did. I have to take about 10 days to BREAK my fast (1 day for every 4 days of fasting) followed, of course, with my raw food diet which is also very healing so, that's just going to have to be ENOUGH!?

On the POSITIVE note.... I am proud of myself!! Yay Me!!!
I juice feasted and water fasted for 60 days!!!!!

I will focus on THAT! What I have accomplished! It's incredible!

I WISH I had medical documentation of what my body really did? I bet it would be amazing to know for a fact what cleansing occurred at a deep tissue, cellular and vascular level. The gall, kidney and liver stones and cysts/tumors/lesions that I may have had unknowingly that dissolved. (We know about the worms!)
The plaque in my arteries and cholesterol levels reduced. All of the chemicals and toxins that were stored in 20 pounds of fat released. The balancing of nerves and hormones and restoration of proper function to the organs. The cleansing and much needed rest of the digestive system. Perhaps even the years added to my life will never be known for sure. BUT, rest assured, these things have happened!

Not to mention all of the emotional healing, release, learning, and observations I have made about myself. REALLY looking DEEPLY into the mirror of my soul, has been worth the effort! ABSOLUTELY!

I LOVE the juices! They will continue to be a part of my daily diet. I definitely want to keep one as a daily meal. Perhaps alternating with a green smoothie or doing both and having one gourmet raw dish at dinner. I look forward to sit-down "fork and knife" dinners again with my kids!

I also want to incorporate fasting and feasting as a yearly "Spring Cleaning". 60 days? Don't know? I've heard that the more often you fast, the less time it takes to detox and cleanse AND the less difficult.

I will fast monthly on Fast Sundays, of course.

I will water fast, if I ever get a cold.

I really think that overall it was hard and awesome! Terrifying and strengthening. I am powerful. I am determined. I am faithful and committed. I am strong. I've been to the depths of despair and have felt the highest joy! I have been scared to death and full of hope.

You see, we do the best that we can, NOT knowing what the outcome will be, having faith in God that HE will do the rest.

Here are some of my scribbled notes on my program from Women's Conference:

"Trust Him enough. He knows what is best for us."

"In ME your joy is full. I've heard (your) cries. I know (your) sorrows. I surely see (your) affliction."

On how to endure through a lengthy trial:

Recognize Blessings.
Focus on Joy.
Love life.
Look forward and trust.
Find joy.

"He can see into the future."

"We can trust the Son of God."

"I am being prepared NOW in THIS life for the next."

"Be Humble, work hard and be patient.

"I am loved."

"Be of good cheer sister, do not fear."

"True inner peace comes from the Savior."


On why we sometimes have to suffer so much in this life. An answer to that question in prayer came as, "God needs brave daughters."

I AM A BRAVE DAUGHTER OF MY HEAVENLY FATHER. He has been, and IS supporting me. He surely does know my sufferings and my afflictions. He WILL heal me.
In Him I trust.

Day 59 - Juice Feast

April 30, 2010

Weight:130.2

Today's Juice's:

1 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 34 oz. celery, carrot, apple, mint, ginger, daikon radish, cauliflower, red cabbage, kale.

The Sun is Shining, Blue-Green Algae, probiotic, multi vit. & min., echinacea-goldenseal root.

Lunch: 30 oz. orange, lemon, lime

Juice of 2 coconuts.

1 oz. wheatgrass

Dinner:
28 oz. cucumber, celery, carrot, cilantro, cauliflower, red cabbage, spinach, red leaf lettuce, garlic, ginger, lime, apple.

Today's Symptom's: BM, tiny bumps on my back, a lot of energy.

Going through a hard time emotionally??? Still feel an impatience with the healing....and I don't feel like blogging....

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Day 58 - Juice Feast

April 29, 2010

Weight: 130.2

Today's Juice's:


2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 30 oz. celery, carrot, apple, ginger, daikon radish, sunflower sprouts, beet w/greens, parsley.

The Sun is Shining, Blue-Green Algae, probiotic, multi vit. & min., echinacea-goldenseal root.

Lunch: 16 oz. carrot juice

2 oz. wheatgrass

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Day 57 - Juice Feast

April 28, 2010

Weight: 130.2

Today's Juice's:

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: celery, carrot, cucumber, mint, kale, beet w/greens, dandelion, apple.

Lunch: 28 oz. Orange, Lemon, Lime

Juice of 1 Thai Coconut

Dinner: 24 oz. celery, apple, cilantro, lime, ginger, kale, broccoli.

Today's Symptom's: coating on tongue, I think some liver and kidney pains, but over all excellent energy!

Perrins Blend Creams came today! Hope they really work!

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Day 56 - Juice Feast

April 27, 2010

Weight:130.2

Today's Juice's:

Breakfast: 30 oz. dandelion, beet w/greens, cucumber, apples, limes, cilantro, carrots.

The Sun is Shining, Blue-Green Algae, probioitc, multi vit.& min., echinacea goldenseal root.

Lunch: 24 oz. "Pineorple"

2 oz. wheatgrass (finally got some!)

Dinner: 30 oz. red cabbage, red onion, celery, carrot, parsely, kale, garlic, seasoning, celtic salt, daikon radish, sunflower sprouts.

Today's Symptom's: Tons of energy, some kidney pain, tongue coated.

Doing better emotionally. In a "waiting on fate" kind of mode.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Day 55 - Juice Feast

April 26, 2010

Weight:128.6

Today's Juice's:


Breakfast: 34 oz. carrot, celery, cucumber, kale, sunflower sprouts, cilantro, lime, daikon radish, ginger, apple.

Probiotic, Multi vit. & min., The Sun is Shining, & Blue-Green Algae.

Lunch: 32 oz. carrot, apple, ginger, spinach, kale, parsely, cilantro, celery, cucumber, green pepper, chard, lemon, lime.

Dinner: 30 oz. grapefruit, cara cara, navel, mandarin oranges, lemon, lime.

Today's Symptom's:
Still some pain and tenderness from tooth extraction 1 week ago, tiredness, BM, some kidney pains.

I felt great until about 6 p.m. after a full day of shopping with a friend when a strange sensation in my head and tiredness hit me and then a slight headache. I knew I had done WAY too much!

Sat in the massage chair for 15 min. and now plan on getting into the jacuzzi tub with some mineral salts!

Emotionally, I'm having a hard time patience wise. I can go another 15 days right?
Miracles DO happen. And I'm praying for one. Please pray for me. <3

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Day 54 - Juice Feast

April 25, 2010

Weight:127.6

Today's Juice's:

Breakfast: 28 oz. celery, carrot, apple, beet w/greens, mint, kale.

The Sun is Shining, Blue-Green Algae, probiotic, Multi Vit. Min., Echinacea GoldenSeal Root.

Lunch: 24 oz. grapefruit, cara cara orange, mandarin orange, lemon, lime.

Dinner: 32 oz. carrot, celery, parsley, alfalfa sprouts, garlic, dill, beet w/greens, green cabbage.

Smooth Move Tea with stevia herb.

Today's Symptom's: Wierd numbness of the tip of my tongue, chest/esophagus tightness upon awakening (but leaves once I get out of bed), runny nose? Jaw still hurting.

I am feeling the need to chew. I feel impatient. I feel frustrated. I feel upset. I have those "demons" telling me I'm just not doing any good here and that it's not working and that I'll never overcome or completely heal and I'm a fool and I'll have to suffer forever. I need to go to sleep.

Ordered Perrin's Blend. I read how it has helped others with Lichen Schlerosis.

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Day 53 - Juice Feast

April 24, 2010

Weight:129.2

Today's Juice's:

1 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 30 oz. veggie juice

Lunch: 28 oz. grapefruit

The Sun is Shining, Blue-Green Algae, probiotic, multi vit. min., Echinacea Golden Seal Root.

Dinner: 30 oz. cucumber, celery, cilantro, lime, apple, spinach.


Cup of Echinacea Plus Tea with Stevia Herb.

Today's Symptom's:
Felt better. Still slight toothache though...dizzy towards the evening.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Day 52 - Juice Feast

April 23, 2010

Weight:129.4

Today's Juice's:

3 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast:30 oz. veggie juice

Lunch:
26 oz. pinorple

Mid-afternooon:
16 oz. grapefruit, garlic

Dinner: 32 oz.veggie juice

Today's Symptom's: Misery and pain because I refused to take another Lortab. Had a BM, still have gunky tongue. Some left kidney pain.
Very hard day....

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Day 51 - Juice Feast

April 22, 2010
HAPPY EARTH DAY!


Best thing you can do for the Earth is educate yourself about this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqQVll-MP3I

Buy it and share it with everyone you know:

http://www.amazon.com/Food-Inc-Eric-Schlosser/dp/B0027BOL4G/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s...

Weight: 131.4

Today's Juice's:


2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 30 oz. beet w/greens, celery, carrot, apple, romaine, kale, dandelion, green cabbage, spinach.

Lunch: 28 oz. grapefruit, orange, lemon, lime, distilled water.

The Sun is Shining, Blue-Green Algae, Probiotic, Echinaecea Goldenseal, Multi vit. and min.

2 oz. wheatgrass

Dinner: 34 oz. celery, apple, carrot, cilantro, chard, kale, beet w/greens, cucumber, lime.

Today's Symptom's: Still in pain from tooth extraction 3 days ago. Took 1 Lortab. Can't wait to be over this.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Day 50 - Juice Feast

April 21, 2010

Weight: 130.0

Today's Juice's:

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 30 oz. apple, celery, carrot, chard, kale, mint, cucumber.

Lunch:vegetable broth.

The Sun is Shining, Blue-Green Algae and probiotic

Dinner:30 oz. grapefruit, orange, mandarin, lemon, lime

T. Raw Honey

Today's Symptom's:face is slightly swollen and very painful. Still having to take Lortab. But, OTHER than that I feel really good! Less coating on tongue. Mostly stuff on the back of my tongue.

Can't believe it's been 50 days! I read something today about a girl who cured her Psorias juice feasting and that it took her 10 weeks. I hope....

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Day 49 - Juice Feast

April 20, 2010

Weight: 130.0

Today's Juice's:

Breakfast: 30 oz. celery, apple, carrot, kale, chard, green cabbage, cucumber, dandelion.

The Sun is Shining, Blue-Green Algae and a probiotic and a multi vit. and min.

Lunch: 22 oz. grapefruit, naval orange, cara cara orange, mandarin orange, lemon, lime.

2 oz. wheatgrass

Dinner:
30 oz. celery, carrot, cucumber, broccoli stems, green cabbage, beet w/greens, ginger, dill, garlic, nama shoyu, kale, green pepper.


Today's Symptom's: Woke up at 2:45 a.m. in agony and didn't take another Lortab for fear of too much drugs and on an empty stomach. Suffered through with a heating pad. My wonderful husband made me my breakfast juice at 6:30 a.m. so I could take one with the juice and then finally got some rest and relief. Took another pain pill at 6 p.m. I feel really good. Don't feel like I'm juice feasting at all! Tongue not as gunky anymore.

Well, I went to an OB GYN with my husband and got full exam. B.P. 98/60 Weight: 131 (with clothes on, I guess my scale is right?) He did a pap smear and the Doc said I look great and that my heart sounded amazing. He thinks that the chest pains and head pressure are just stress? *rolling eyes*

Last year (before eating raw) I was told I had fibrocystic breasts, well, that's now gone! He looked at my labia and said immediately that it was Lichen Sclerosis. NOT CANCER! I asked him if he was sure and he said 99% sure. He didn't even want to do a biopsy. He says it's an auto immune disease and that they don't know how you get it and that it's genetic and that there's no cure.
He prescribed me a steroid cream and told me to come back in a month. He told me that I would need to continue using it. That it would always flare up.
He told me that diet had nothing to do with getting it and that juice feasting wouldn't do anything either.

That is NOT an ACCEPTABLE diagnosis. Where is the hope in that?? How dismal!

By the way. I had to wait in his office for our first visit. On his desk was an open Diet Coke and a bag of chips and a microwave. As we passed his office on our way out he now had a box of Krispie Cream Donuts on his desk???

My Mom worked as a Histologist in a Hospital for 20+ years. Doctors die from all of the same diseases that they supposedly heal. Read The China Study by Dr. Campbell and Fasting and Eating For Health by Dr. Fuhrman.

Where can I go to see a true health doctor? One focused on addressing the causes of diseases and healing using food and herbs as medicine? That is covered by my insurance? *dreaming*

So, now what? I REALLY want to heal my labia. I want to be able to have intercourse again. Not acceptable to not have it ya know?!! What else can I do. What am I missing?

I have been using a BLACK OINTMENT that is made of:
Allantoin for comfrey leaves and root, juniper tar, chaparral, chickweed, plantain, marshmallow root, red clover blossoms, mullein leaves, golden seal root, charcoal and lobelia, wheat germ oil, olive oil, pime tar, pine gum, beeswax and lanolin.
AND..
COMFREY COMPOUND SALVE that is made of comfrey root, marshmallow root, mullein herb, American skullcap herb, black walnut hulls, white oak bark, lobelia herb and seed, st. johns wort flower bud oil, organic extra virgin olive oil and pure beeswax.
AND..
Another BLACK OINTMENT with:
Olive oil, beeswax, pine tar, chaparral herb, chickweed herb, comfrey leaf, golden seal root, lobelia herb, marshmallow root, mullein herb, myrrh gum, plantain root, red clover herb, and vitamin E oil.

I've heard that Emu Oil would be good too. But, I don't know?

Do you know of anything I could use or do?

Monday, April 19, 2010

Day 48 - Juice Feast

April 19, 2010

Weight: 131.6

Today's Juice's:

3 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 32 oz. carrot, apple, celery, dandelion, mint.

Lunch: 24 oz. grapefruit, cara cara orange, lemon, lime.

Dinner: 16 oz. cilantro, lime, kale, apple, cucumber, celery.

Today's Symptom's: woke up to chest pain and headache, but it always goes away after I get up. Had another big BM? Blows me away? Cleaner and cleaner tongue. Super energy! I feel REALLY good! I was the energizer bunny today!

I went in to the Oral Surgeon to have tooth #19 removed (the one that had abscessed.) Not fun to say the least. I had high hopes that my body could heal the tooth and the bone loss, but that tooth has been through the ringer. With a root canal, then oral surgery, and a crown for over 10 years. I wonder if that tooth was causing the chest pain and headaches?? That would be so cool if my symptom's went away now that the tooth is out?
I really LOVE the laughing gas. I love the high! The only discomfort I felt were the pinches of the anesthetic and the 20 minutes of tugging and pushing on my jaw! But, the gas made it bearable. :) I was strangely at peace. Despite the trauma, I felt peace. I really did.

They put in some cadaver bone into the hole to help stimulate growth and to prepare it for the implant that I will be getting in 4 months. I had some concern about that? I mean, can you get a disease from that? Then he stitched me up. I had to keep the gauze in my mouth for most of the day. It kept bleeding for a long time.

I picked up the prescription for the Lortab, even though I regret having to take any, but I'm glad I did because about 4 hours later I started to feel pain and even after that I was STILL in pain. So, I can't imagine how bad it would be without any pain killer! I didn't get the antibiotic but I did get the antibiotic mouth rinse that I'm supposed to do twice a day. Except, get this... they put SACCHARIN in it and blue coloring!!??? Saccharin is cancer causing??!! What the crap??!! What do I do? Oh, well...


Ya know, I've just been filled with joy today! Despite everything. I even made an appointment for tomorrow to get my labia biopsied! Can you believe it? I was talking to a good friend who said that I should just get it done to know EXACTLY what I have, so that when I am healed I can tell people what I healed myself of. At least I can know for sure and not wonder anymore. I didn't want to do it a year ago. But like I've been trying to explain, for some weird reason, I just am at peace about it.
I'm reading the amazing Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl, a MUST read for every human being! How this man still could experience happiness while a prisoner in a concentration camp is just so incredible and has taught me so much. Run out and buy it!
I'm also studying the Book of Mormon, and as a family every morning we are reading the New Testament. The Scriptures just buoy me up and uplift me so much. I love the words of the Prophets and the love they had for us and the love of our Heavenly Father. He loves us so much! I know the Book of Mormon is true scripture and the Prophets did nothing but prophesy of the coming of Christ and repentance and Faith in Him. It also tells of Christ's visit to the ancient Americans and what He taught. If you love Jesus and know Him. You will love the Book of Mormon and feel of it's veracity and recognize His words. The Holy Ghost will manifest the truth of it to you, like it has to me. I know it is true! He lives! He loves us! He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is a God of miracles. He is healing me and He can heal you.
I am a purist. I like to get to the root of things. I see things simply. If you keep the commandments(love God, love others like yourself and treat them like you want to be treated, be honest, be humble, be kind, serve others, give to and help others etc.) you will be happy in every aspect of your life.
If you eat food in it's natural state, the way they were created. Your body will be happy and you will experience true health.
If you detox and cleanse and give your body the rest that it needs to do so, your body will heal.

I don't know how to feel about tomorrow? I'm not afraid. I hope and pray that it's not cancer. And if it is, I will continue to do what I am doing and hold on to my faith and hope that what I am doing will heal me as it has healed countless others.

The Lortab is kicking in..................

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Day 47 - Juice Feast

April 18, 2010

Weight:130.8

Today's Juice's:

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast:26 oz. grapefruit, cara cara oranges, tangerine, lemon, lime.


Dinner:42 oz. celery, carrot, apple, cucumber, beet w/greens, parsely, garlic, dill, ginger, red cabbage, broccoli.



Today's Symptom's: woke up with chest pain and head pressure! GRrrrrr!! But it's a beautiful, gorgeous, sun shiny day. Drank breakfast out in the sunshine then went to church, made our big Sunday pancake breakfast, went on a walk with the family in the warm sunshine.

Down side..I'm fighting the depression. No way to escape. No where to run. Have to face the music.

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Day 46 - Juice Feast

April 17, 2010

Weight: 131.2

Today's Juice's:

4 oz. wheatgrass

Lunch:
28 oz. grapefruit, cara cara oranges, lemon, lime with distilled water

Dinner
: 34 oz. carrot, apple, beet w/greens, cucumber, cilantro, lime, chard.

Today's Symptom's: Feel Great! Some head pressure. Got a lot done today. Tons of energy.

I found this online today:
at:http://www.womhealth.org.au/factsheets/vulva.htm

Pre-cancerous and cancerous conditions
Vulval intraepithelial neoplasia (VIN)
Like a woman's cervix, the tissue of the vulva can undergo abnormal cell changes. These changes are referred to as vulval intraepithelial neoplasia (VIN). Some cases of VIN are associated with the human papillomavirus (HPV), while others are thought to be due to irritation. If VIN persists for many years cancer of the vulva can develop.

Symptoms of VIN may include: itching and burning (DON'T HAVE THAT) in a specific area of the vulva; raised brown, red, pink or white lesions(YES); warty lesions(NO) or persistent erosions or ulcers(NO & NO). Treatment for VIN depends on the stage of the condition but may involve monitoring the areas as VIN can disappear on its own(THAT'S WHAT I'M HOPING FOR!). In some cases removing the abnormal tissue by surgery or laser may be required(UH-UH). Other treatments are being trialled and a vaccine against some types of HPV will hopefully decrease the incidence of HPV-related VIN in the future(DOUBT IT).

Vulval cancer
Vulval cancer is relatively uncommon, with just over 200 cases diagnosed in Australia each year (13). The majority of these cancers occur in women 50 and over. There are two main types of vulval cancer, those associated with lichen sclerosus (see lichen sclerosus section) and those related to VIN (VIN section). Symptoms of vulval cancer include: itching, burning (DON'T HAVE THAT) or pain in the vulva(YES); vulval skin that looks white(YES), feels rough(YES) or has a lump(NO); bleeding or discharge(NO) not related to menstruation (14).

Treatment for vulval cancer depends on how advanced the cancer is when diagnosed, the person's age and their overall medical condition. Early detection of vulval cancer is important as it improves the chances of successful treatment.

Surgery is the most common treatment for vulval cancer(NO WAY!). Radiation therapy(NO WAY!) and/or chemotherapy(HELL NO!) may also be used.

A vaccine for some types of HPV (which are linked to VIN and, therefore, vulval cancer) will hopefully reduce the risk of vulval cancer in the future(NEVER!).

So....what I have might be pre cancerous lesions or cancer.

How do I feel? Knowing that my husband has had a chunk of basal cell carcinoma cut off his face today and that maybe what I have is cancer too???

I feel sad, mad, HOW THE !@#$$$%^ did I get this?????, scared, depressed, frustrated, and Impatient. 33 months is a long time to suffer.

I know that cancer cannot survive my diet! No way! AND that there has been some improvement of my labia so far.

I know that God is a God of miracles. He has led me thus far.

I am doing the very best I know how to do. If there is something missing PLEASE let me know.

46 days and counting. I won't/can't stop till it's gone.

*tears*

Friday, April 16, 2010

Day 45 - Juice Feast

April 16, 2010

Weight: 130.0

Today's Juice's:

Breakfast:
24 oz. Red and green cabbage, carrots, apple, celery, kale, beet with greens.

Lunch:
18 oz. "Pineorple" Pineapple, cara cara orange, red delicious apple.

Mid-afternoon: 16 oz. Spinach, Kale, Parsley, Cilantro, Celery, Cucumber, Green Pepper, Chard, Lemon, Lime, & Ginger.

Dinner: 4 oz. wheatgrass
24 oz. papaya juice!

Today's Symptom's:woke up with the pressure again. Head and chest. Brought me low...another BM? What could possibly be coming out of me? Where is it coming from? Seriously.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Day 44 - Juice Feast

April 15, 2010

Weight: 130.0

Today's Juice's:

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 20 oz. broccoli, celery, carrot, cucumber, mint, kale, beet w/greens, red cabbage.

Lunch: 16 oz. carrot

Mid-afternoon: 19 oz. grapefruit, cara cara orange, mandarin orange, lemon, lime.

Dinner: 6 oz. papaya then,
22 oz. garlic, kale, parsley, green pepper, carrot, celery, green onion, apple, tomato.

Today's Symptom's: Feel Great!!! Much less dizziness. I did a ton today.

Worst thing about today was that my husbands latest skin check up found a spot with Basal Cell Carcinoma...again. Last time was in 2000 when I was 9 months pregnant with our 3rd child. AND...my abcess came back after chewing gum (healthy gum) today. I went in to the dentist and he said that the roots are broke off and that I need to get it pulled! Sucks!

Feeling blue, I know I need to focus on how good I'm feeling, then life steps in and says "Hello!!!"

Trying to hang on :(

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Day 43 - Juice Feast

April 14, 2010



Weight: 130.0

Today's Juice's:

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 30 oz. Chard, romaine, spinach, cabbage, beet w/green, broccoli, carrot, celery, apple, cucumber, mint.

The Sun is Shining and Blue-Green Algae.

Juice from 1 Thai Coconut!

Lunch: PineOrPle! 24 oz. Pineapple, Orange, Apple diluted with distilled water.

Dinner: 30 oz. cucumber, celery, carrot, apple, kale, spinach, cilantro, lime.

Today's Symptom's: I was in a deep sleep when my Honey woke me up for scriptures, which is unusual because I usually hear him and my oldest son as they are getting ready for work and school. The first thing I noticed was this strong strange taste in my mouth? I couldn't tell what it was? I immediately took care of that by doing the usual 3x a day tongue scraping that I have to do. Boy, I can't wait till that's over with.

I actually felt good this morning. Can I just say, "HALLELUJAH!!" No chest pain! I still have dizziness though and can tell that I've been laying down for 2+ weeks.

I colored my hair, gave myself a mani and pedi, cleaned, did laundry, laid in the sun for 20 min., took care of my daughter, made my own lunch, went to Target, Good Earth, and Costco, picked up the kids, unloaded the groceries, made them their snack, made a dinner for a girl I visit teach and her family who just had a baby, made dinner for my family (so wonderful!), made my dinner, and called it a day at 6:30. I was exhausted and ready to get back in bed with my laptop and catch up on blogging for you!

Oh, I had a BM!! On my own!! Wasn't fun, wasn't pretty, and the smell? Well....I'll just leave it at that.

I forgot to mention that for the past 2 days I've had tiny itchy red spots on my lower legs. I didn't think it was anything, I just thought my skin was dry. But then last night I really looked closely and noticed the red spots. Can I just say that this detoxing thing is for real!

I needed a day like today! The sun was shining and everything was beautiful and it looked like how I felt. The tulips are coming up and the trees are starting to blossom and it's going hand in hand with my healing. I am a Pupa! And I can't wait to come out!

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Day 42 - Juice Feast

April 13, 2010

Weight:130.0

Today's Juice's:

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 26 oz. Parsley, spinach, carrot, apple, celery, chard, kale.

Lunch: 24 oz. grapefruit, orange, lemon, lime with distilled water.

2 0z. wheatgrass


Ta-DA! My Honey took a pic of the veggies he juiced for my dinner so he could remember what he put in it :) He's become a pro Juice Man! Oh, How I love him!
So, I think I will be adding more pics for you guys! He's so awesome I'm tellin ya!

Dinner: 24 oz. celery, carrot, romaine, cabbage, cilantro, pepper, cucumber, spinach, tomato.

Today's Symptom's: It takes me a long time to fall asleep at night. I woke up and felt dizzy. Staying down for another day. I was a bit depressed because of it and that I still am not energized like so many other juice feasters are during their feasts. I still have a coated tongue, I have forgotten to mention that I've had cracked and dry lips for a while now, some chest pressure, weird pains here and there. About 10 minutes ago, while lying in my bed with my heating blanket and pillow on my tummy holding up the laptop, I experienced the strangest thing. Right where I have felt discomfort on and off in my chest it felt like someone was "massaging" the exact area. I paused and just went with it imagining that my body was doing some healing there. Words cannot express the sensations I have felt throughout my body. I suppose that my weakness and dizziness are all just signs that my body is getting down to the business of healing and that it needs all the energy it can get and doesn't want me up and about. (Cause it knows that I will do a ton, like I usually do!)

That's it folks! Just another day of laying here completely ignorant of the miraculous works of the body, all the while holding onto faith. OH, and getting an Internet and youtube Phd in Raw Food Cuisine and Fasting! :)

Monday, April 12, 2010

Day 41 - Juice Feast

April 12, 2010

Weight: 127.4

Today's Juice's:

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 30 oz. Beet w/greens, mint, carrot, apple, cucumber, kale, chard, celery.

Lunch: 22 oz. Grapefruit, orange, lemon, lime AGAIN cuz it's totally awesome! My taste buds are so sensitive and the juices taste amazing!

Dinner:
30 oz. Borcht juice! Beet w/greens, carrot, celery, dill, tomato, garlic, kale, red pepper, cabbage.

2 oz. wheatgrass

Today's Symptom's: More improvement of my labia!! Yes!! It's working!! I have about 20% improvement in my strength, but still don't want to get out of bed. Although I have to pick up the kids from school and take the girls to dance. Oh, and I still have a white tongue, and strong BO and the one I can't understand is gas???

I got out of bed, got dressed, did my hair, made up my eyes, wrote some checks to pay for my kids dance and piano classes, and made a barley-lentil soup, and salad for my family (they are vegan, but I give them lots of raw food too!) for dinner tonight. It felt so good to be serving them again for a change!I love my family more than anything!

I was feeling really weak again and funky standing there cutting veggies, like my body was trying to adjust to doing stuff again after laying in bed for 2 weeks, I felt so determined to get my strength back! I took a B-12, 2 probiotics, Blue-Green Algae, The Sun is Shining, and a vitamin-mineral pill with a bottle of mineralized water. I started to feel a bit better!

I picked up the kids from school, made them an after school snack which was a sliced apple and almonds for my youngest son, and a strawberry, banana, orange salad with walnuts Mmmm... for the girls and we were off to dance class. It felt so good to be in the car again out in the world! Too bad there was no sunshine. I NEED to get some rays for some Vit.D and warming of my soul sooo bad!
Plus, it aids in healing :)

After I got home I went straight to bed again. I think that was good enough for today don't cha think?

By the way, THANK YOU soooooo much for your support and words of encouragement. They are like little hugs for my heart! Please keep me in your prayers. I believe they really do make it up to Heaven and God answers them. He IS answering them. I am so very grateful!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Day 40 - Juice Feast

April 11, 2010

Weight: 129.0

Breaking the 5 day Water Fast!

Today's Juice's:

2 oz. wheatgrass

Break-Fast: I could barely drink 10 oz. celery, cucumber, cilantro, lime, chard, kale, apple.

Lunch: 16 oz. left over from breakfast.

Dinner: 16 oz. grapefruit, orange, lemon, lime diluted with distilled water.

2 oz. wheatgrass

Today's Symptom's: I could hardly sleep I was so excited to break my fast today! Last night I had heartburn again? Bad lower back cramps, gas, headache, extreme weakness and fatigue, very coated tongue, hard time falling asleep.

I decided to break my fast last night because of the extreme fatigue. I thought I would go through today as my last day, but when I needed my husband to take me to the toilet, I thought that I better use this last day before school starts to regain my strength. I'm glad I did. This morning I feel tired and kind of ill after drinking the juice. I was hoping to feel energized, but, oh well, I guess it's gonna take a little time for my body to adjust.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Day 39 - Juice Feast

April 10, 2010

Weight: 129.0

Distilled Water Fast Day 5

Today's Symptom's: Very weak. Menstrual like cramps, acid reflux during the night, gas, white tongue. VERY lethargic. Don't even want to watch t.v. or read or blog. Just....want......to.......sleep.

I cannot water fast past Sunday because school starts and I need to function. So, I will go back to juicing either tomorrow or Monday morning.

Water fasting is HARD! But, from all of my research VERY effective in deep cleansing.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Day 38 - Juice Feast

April 9, 2010

Weight: 130.6

Day 4 of Distilled Water

Today's Symptom's: NO chest pressure!! Slight headache. More strength! Last night I had acid refux? More improvement on labia! Yes!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Day 37 - Juice Feast

April 8, 2010


Weight: 130.6

Day 3-Distilled Water Fast

Today's Symptom's: No chest pain! Headache, lightheaded, weakness, white tongue, bad breath. Sleepy. VERY weak. Major effort to go to the toilet. Feel like I'm on a major pain killer or something. Weird pains today. My right ovary (I think) hurt, my liver, my lower back one side at a time, occasional pains in chest and head, stomach pains, weird gunk slid down my throat, my cheeks turned red, occasional small bouts of nausea.

I guess there's just MAJOR stuff going on!

EXTREMELY tough day! Hoping I will have more energy tomorrow.

Watch these vids on youtube.com:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXvrrot0hnQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5K4-V1kAtIk

Wish I could go here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRXyMTk053E

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Day 36 - Juice Feast

April 7, 2010

Weight: 133.2

Day 2 of only Distilled Water

Today's Symptom's: No chest pressure upon awakening!Yes! Slight headache, not as coated tongue, weak, lightheaded, no appetite.

I just plan on staying in bed and reading and studying and learning and healing every second. As always, please keep me in your prayers. Please.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Day 35 - Juice Feast

April 6, 2010

Weight: 133.2

Distilled Water Fast today.

Today's Symptom's: Woke up again to strange chest and head pains. Very bad headache, terrible breath, light headed.

I stayed in bed ALL day. Spring Break is a good time to water fast since I don't have to get out of bed. My honey makes breakfast, the kids make their own lunch and play with their friends all day. I don't have to take or pickup anyone anywhere. There was left over dinner from last night so I didn't need to make anything. I stocked the fridge so Honey can make dinner tomorrow. Grateful that every one's okay.

Emotionally though...fasting is HARD. You do it alone. At least, I have no choice but to. No one calls. I think, no I don't know what they think?
You are isolated and suffering alone. No one can suffer for you. Pain and Looooooooon hours. Yet, somehow, I keep holding on to my faith in God and in my bodies ability to heal. I hold on to the day when I have overcome. I hold on for the day when I can rejoice in the blissful joy of experiencing freedom and vitality and health in this body beyond anything I can remember, and knowing that I have the power. I am powerful. I can do it. I will do it. I will heal.
Alone.

Monday, April 5, 2010

Day 34 - Juice Feast

April 5, 2010
Spring Break

Weight: 133.2

Today's Juice's:

3 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 33 oz. carrot, celery, cucumber, cilantro, lime, sunflower sprouts, red cabbage, dandelion, apple.

Today's Symptom's: woke to head and chest pressure. More Energy! Started my period (1 day early again like last month?) Slight numbness on head and face (old symptom from when I first got sick.) Less lightheaded, but lightheaded none the less. Kidney's hurt on and off throughout the day.

I cleaned my house from the Easter weekend disaster! Did laundry and made my juice's and the kids lunch and we went to go to a movie with some of their friends, but they were sold out so we stopped at the Health Food Store and I bought some more wheatgrass and groceries. Definitely had more energy. While I was there, I noticed a book called "FASTING AND EATING FOR HEALTH A MEDICAL DOCTOR'S PROGRAM FOR CONQUERING DISEASE" by Dr. Joel Fuhrman. I ended up taking the kids to a family fun center and started reading the book.

Dr. Fuhrman says, "Juice Fasting is not truly fasting; biochemically the body does not enter the "protein-sparing" fasting state. In this state the body conserves its muscle reserves and fat is preferentially broken down. This does not occur with juice fasting. Juice fasting also does not have the powerful anti-inflammatory properties of the pure water fast that are essential for recovery in autoimmune illnesses. Other benefits of total fasting include decreasing platelet aggregation and promoting other biochemical changes that help to prevent the formation of blood clots, which could cause a heart attack. These beneficial changes, so essential in a cardiac patient, as well as the significant lowering of blood pressure, also do not occur if even a small amount of carbohydrate in the form of juice is taken. The powerful detoxifying effects of the fast cannot be obtained by following a restricted or supplement diet. ONLY when there is total abstinence from all calories do we observe waste products being heavily excreted from the breath, the tongue, the urine, and the skin. Plus, the fast does not merely detoxify, it also breaks down superfluous tissue-fat, abnormal cells, atheromatous plaque, and tumors-and releases diseased tissues and their cellular products into the circulation for elimination. This kind of dramatic detoxification cannot occur with supplemented eating plans. Toxic or unwanted materials circulate in our bloodstream and lymphatic tissues and are deposited in and released from our fat stores and other tissues. And important element of detoxification is mobilizing the toxins from their storage sites. This occurs best and most efficiently during TOTAL fasting."

So, after reading that and also having been feeling more and more that I want to drink juice less and less. I am going to implement water fasting as well. I think I've done 2 days of water fasting so far. It sure make you weak and feel crummy, but I think this will promote quicker healing of my symptoms. But I have to say, that for me, not matter what ANY book says. Listening to my body is THE most important key. And my body HAS been wanting to water fast. So, here goes!

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Day 33 - Juice Feast

April 4, 2010
EASTER!

Weight: 135.2

Today's Juice's:

Juice of 1 lemon in distilled water.

Breakfast: 32 oz. carrot, celery, cucumber, kale, mint, beet w/greens, apple.

2 oz. wheatgrass

Lunch: coconut water, pinapple, orange sorbet made in my Cuisinart Ice Cream Maker.

2 oz. wheatgrass

Today's Symptom's: Diarrhea last night from tea. STILL weak, lightheaded, woke up at 4 a.m. with my head and chest in a vice grip! Still get chest pains, dizzy, my right kidney hurt for a few hours this afternoon.

We watched Conference again today. I feel better in the mornings. I was able to make an Easter breakfast for my family and a raw Chinese cabbage salad for dinner. But, by nighttime I'm really stuck on the couch. I read on a fasting website that sometimes healing crisis can last a few WEEKS! Well, I'm supposed to sing in church next Sunday so I REALLY hope to be able to start feeling better VERY soon. Being miserable for so long is discouraging and I have been very short with my family this weekend. I hate that! I just don't feel good and am trying really hard to act normal for my family, but, I didn't fool anybody....

Hoping and praying.

Cried myself to sleep.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Day 32 - Juice Feast

April 3, 2010
180th General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

Today's Weight: 135.2

Today's Juice's:

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 30 oz. carrot, celery, cucumber, cilantro, lime, dandelion, apple.

Lunch: grapefruit, orange, lemon, lime

Smooth Move Tea

2 oz. wheatgrass

Today's Symptom's: A bit stronger today. Still light headed and weak, stomach ache after drinking juice's, head ache feeling discourgagd in the evening....

Friday, April 2, 2010

Day 31 - Juice Feast

April 2, 2010
Good Friday.

Weight:135.6

Today's Juice's:

2 oz wheatgrass

Breakfast: 10 oz. carrot, celery, cucumber, spinach, chard, red cabbage, mint.

Lunch: Water from 2 young Thai coconuts about 2 1/4 c.

2 oz. wheatgrass

Today's Symptom's: chest pains upon awakening, very weak and light headed, my feet feel "squishy" when I stand up and walk on them (I actually noticed that yesterday coated tongue.

I felt in much better spirits today and actually got dressed and did some desperately needed cleaning, although I felt like I needed to be laying down. Still very, very weak.

Today my thoughts have been turned mostly towards Christ. Today He was hung on a cross for my sins. For you, and for me. XOXO

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Day 30!! - Juice Feast

April 1, 2010
April Fools Day!

Weight: 135.4 (No Joke!)

Today's Juice's:

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 26 oz. carrot, celery, cucumber, chard, parsley, garlic, ginger.

Lunch: Juice from 3 grapefruits about 2 1/2 c. dilluted with distilled water to 4 c.

1 1/2 oz. wheatgrass

Today's Symptom's: Woke up to head ache and chest pain and some pains in my guts. Lot's of gurgling through the night, dry mouth, tongue still very coated, very weak and light headed.

I need to get my strength back. I need to go grocery shopping, I need to do laundry, I need to make dinner and clean the house. Well...I guess I just need to be patient. My bodies doin it's thing, or I'm dying? :-0

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Day 29 - Juice Feast

March 31, 2010

Weight:136.6

Today's Juice's:

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 28 oz. celery, cucumber, carrots, apple, romaine, chard, red cabbage, mint.

Lunch: 3 c. grapefruit, orange, tangelo, lemon, lime dilluted with distilled water to 4 c.

Echinacea Tea.

2 oz. wheatgrass w/garlic HOT!

Today's Symptom's: Head ache. Low energy. Light headed. Heat flashes, some chest pains, have to stand up slowly because of the blood not getting to my head fast enough, feeling down.....

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Day 28 - Juice Feast

March 30, 2010

Weight: 136.6

Today's Juice's:

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 10 oz. Carrots, apple, chard, parsley, cilantro, cucumber, celery.

Lunch:16 oz. leftover juice.

Juice of 1 lemon and distilled water.

Dinner: juice of 1 coconut. 1/2 c.

Blue-green Algae and The Sun is Shining

Today's Symptom's: Headache. Weak. Light headed. Centered, focused. Not really wanting any juices. Quiet.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Day 27 - Juice Feast

March 29, 2010

Today's Juice's:

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 30 oz. celery, cucumber, carrot, chard, spinach, apple, cilantro, lime.

The Sun is Shining and Blue-green algae.

Lunch: 16 oz. dilluted with distilled water to 30 oz. grapefruit, orange, lemon, lime.

Echinacea Tea with Stevia. (Make sure you use the green herb powder NOT the boxed white stuff. It's processed.)

2 0z. wheatgrass

Distilled water with juice of 1 lemon.

Today's Symptom's: REALLY weak today. Diarrhea (The Smooth Tea works TOO good, I won't be using that again for awhile...)Pimple.

My sweet husband took care of me after church yesterday. I didn't want to drink another veggie juice. No appetite. I think my body really just wants to water fast..But, I do need to function. So, I'm not sure what do to.

I woke up soooo weak. My Honey took care of everyone and made my grass and juice for me and took the kids to school for me.

I don't want to even get up, but I have a colonic today and visiting teaching and have to take my youngest daughter to school and then pick up the kids and make them a smoothie and make dinner and take the girls to dance. Today is also a grocery shopping day and so I think I will make a good fruit juice for lunch to get some more energy into me. Then Family Home Evening tonight! I hope I can muster the energy! Precious energy that should probably be spent detoxing and healing.

LATER.....

I went to get a colonic and I'm very happy to report NO WORMS!!! Yay! I think all of the cilantro I've been drinking has really helped with that. Also, Marilyn was impressed with all of the plague I was releasing. Which is just fabulous! I got rid of a TON of mucoid plague, which is the gunk that our bodies make to line our intestines(actually clear up the esophagus) to help protect us from the cooked, toxic, processed junk we feed it. So, when you detox, your body gets rid of it and you become clean and able to absorb the nutrients a billion times better. That is another reason why after you detox and cleanse it's so important to eat well afterwards, because now you can really get sick from junk food. You should check out youtube for some great mucoid plague videos. :)

I felt better after the colonic and went visiting teaching but still felt like today I should have stayed in bed. I prayed a LOT today for strength.

While I was making dinner (Vegan Taco Soup) for my kids I was tempted to eat and spit again. I've actually been tempted everyday since I did it (DARN SATAN!) But I am grateful to say that I have stood strong! Resisted, and just observed myself being tempted and just said to myself what I've learned from reading EATING IN FREEDOM, an ebook I bought from Tom Coghill, which I highly recommend buying http://www.fasting.ws/juice-fasting/ebooks. If I can resist temptation, so can anyone!

I'm so grateful for the strength that the Lord is blessing me with. Thank you Lord!

Karyn Calabrese was on Oprah today!Raw Food is getting quite a lot of publicity! Isn't that wonderful?!!!!She is 62 and looks AMAZING. Here is a great interview with her: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJOzg_kvVRE

What I like so much about her is that she is stylish. Modern. Wears makeup. Shaves her legs :)Does her Hair. Her restaurant is classy and elegant. Very hip (NOT hippie,no offence)and TODAY! I LIKE that! And I think mainstream America is more that way. She's not tree-hugging, hippie freakish that turns off so many people, and let's face it, when you google a lot of these raw food celebrities, not all, but many are that way. I myself feel like a "Hip Hippie". I like to wear stylish clothes and makeup and do my hair and wear high heels, but on the inside??
I could definitely see myself hugging a tree (I'd make sure no one was looking!) *giggle*

I don't feel like having a dinner juice, so I think I will do what feels right....rest. Nightie-night!

P.S. I would so love any or more feedback from you guys...

*frogs croaking*

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Day 26 - Juice Feast

March 28, 2010

Weight:

Today's Juice's:

3 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast:16 0z. celery, cucumber, carrot, parsley, chard, ginger, apple.

Lunch:16 oz. left over from breakfast.

Smooth Move Tea

2 oz. wheatgrass

Dinner: Juice of 1 lemon and water.

Today's Symptom's: I woke to chest/head pressure again. Feel bit lightheaded. Some liver/gallbladder area pain. TWO BM's! (That tea REALLY works! I like feeling like I'm cleaning stuff out WITHOUT doing an enema.)
On a positive note! I noticed some improvement in my labia! It's healing, it's working! I'm so happy about that!

Saturday, March 27, 2010

Day 25 - Juice Feast

March 27, 2010

Weight:137.6

Today's Juice's:

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 30 oz. cucumber, carrot, apple, chard, cabbage, mint.

Lunch: 30 oz. cucumber, celery, carrot, apple, cilantro, lettuce, lime.

Smooth Move Tea and Raw Honey.

Today's Symptom's: I feel wonderful! I haven't really mentioned, but my tongue has to be scraped 2-3 times a day of the yucky yellow gunk. I was told that brushing it is bad because you push the toxins back into the tongue. You need to use a scraper. I struggled with the demons again today. Going out amongst all of the fast food restaurants and temptations was tough today. I had memories of everything I ever ate. All the junk food I've ever binged on. All the places I've gorged myself at. All of the temptations and memories of reaching for these foods to fill some giant void inside. Which never satisfied. Only was for numbing. It was brutal. I had some right kidney and liver pains and a head ache in the evening.

On the happy end:

I woke up next to my Honey to the birds singing and the sun shining! Yay for Spring! We went to the Temple today and took our oldest daughter on her "Mommy Daddy Date Night" where she got to choose what to do! We went bowling and then to Relax the Back for a free massage! (cheap date) Had a wonderful day! Despite the demons...

Ya know the Pixar short firm "Boundin'?" Well, I'm the sheep! :)

Friday, March 26, 2010

Day 24 - Juice Feast

March 26, 2010

Weight:138.8??

Today's Juice's:

2 0z. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 30 oz. carrot, celery, apple, chard, sunflower sprouts, zucchini, mint.

Dinner:28 oz. tomato, cucumber, scallion, garlic, spinach, red cabbage.

2 oz. wheatgrass

Today's Symptom's: Feel good. Just a bit depressed...wierd pain in my chest, tired.

My Honey's home!! So happy!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Day 23 - Juice Feast

March 25, 2010

Weight: 138.8?

Today's Juice's:

2 oz. wheatgrass

Breakfast: 32 oz. carrot, celery, apple, lemon, beet w/greens, chard, broccoli.

Lunch: 16 oz. pineapple, mango, orange, distilled watered down to 30 oz.

2 oz. wheatgrass

Dinner: 32 oz. celery, cucumber, cilantro, lime, chard, carrot, apple.

Today's Symptom's: Once again..I feel terrific! Soooo much energy! I do notice though that right before I wake up I notice the tension/pressure in my head and chest. But, upon arising it goes away. It's enough to wake me. The doctors who had originally diagnosed me said I had anxiety. I hope this will eventually go away with a completely detoxed body.

I did something today that surprised me. I made a new recipe for my children tonight: Tofu Vegetable Lo-Mein. It smelled wonderful. I was so curious to taste it. I did. It was excellent. Then I spit it out. Then I tasted it again, and spit it out. Then I had some bread and spit it out, then some pretzels and spit it out too! I thought I had lost my mind! I couldn't get out of this funk?? It's like I was possessed! All the while knowing that what I was doing was ridiculous! What was I doing? I rationalized that I missed chewing. I went to my calendar and realized that it's ovulation time. But, I wasn't hungry? What happened to me? Why did I do that? I feel terrible about it! I don't want to develop this habit??!! I've overcome bulimia and I don't want to start another eating disorder! I never want to do that again! I almost didn't post about it here because it's so embarrassing! But I figured that I wanted to tell you everything. I didn't even PLAN on doing that! It just happened. Just ONE bite set me off. I haven't chewed anything for 23 days and it felt great! Even though I wasn't the slightest bit hungry? I don't understand? I don't even want to eat yet. At this moment I feel like I did something that was definitely a mistake and wasn't even pleasurable and gross and I definitely don't want to do that again. I wonder what my therapist will tell me about this next week? Maybe I'm beginning to detox the old bulimia behavior?? I can't believe how much emotional detox is going on at the same time? Could it have been that? Or was it just a passing thing? Gosh, I NEVER want to do that again. Have you ever done that before? (Now you guys are REALLY gonna think I'm whacked! And lose all respect for me and just write me off as a mess!) I hope I don't regret writing this....

Before this I went to therapy today and had a little revelation. (Maybe the emotional prodding led me to food?? I don't know??)
I've often thought about how in the Scriptures Jesus healed people. How the scriptures say, "Ask and ye shall receive." Well, in the past 20 months, I've asked every.. single.. day.. to be healed. I've often thought that maybe I'm not worthy enough, or good enough, or had enough faith. Well, in therapy today this thought came into my mind. "You do not know how long those people were sick BEFORE they were healed." *Light bulb moment* I guess I just thought that they were instantly healed right when they got sick, but you know what? That wasn't the case!

I thought about how much I have grown spiritually and emotionally and how much I have overcome and the strength and wisdom I've gained in holding on to my hope and faith. I think that Heavenly Father of course, knew that this experience "would be for my good" that this experience would help me to grow faster and more than if all was just good and dandy. So, for this I am grateful.

I hope that I can take way more steps forward than backwards, like I did today. I just pray for the strength to overcome and the faith to believe with all my heart that I will heal. That my body IS healing, and to TRUST in Him and in the ability of the body He designed to heal. I'm not quiting!

I know that the Lord is more likely to answer the man's prayer who's wagon broke and is pushing it as hard as he can, than the man who is just sitting next to the wagon waiting for help. So Lord...push, push, push I go!

Do I click on PUBLISH POST or not...........Here's goes! *click*